by Healthy friction is needed in all organizations if they are to maximize their potential. Individuals need the freedom to state their case, to disagree and then resolve their differences. Different functional areas naturally collide. Whether in business or in a nonprofit or in government, a system of checks and balances is crucial to growing while staying between the lines.
Friction becomes unhealthy when personal Noise gets in the way and forms the basis of the friction — especially if the Noise is that of a leader(s). Examples include fear, distrust, power grabs, envy, low self-worth and more. This creates unnecessary anxiety amongst the team members. This leads to non-value-added interactions and time spent dealing with issues that waste time and have no place in a culture that demands respect and fairness. These individuals must be weeded out for the organization to thrive.
Like friction, anxiety can be healthy or unhealthy. When we think of anxiety, we tend to think of the unhealthy first and only. Goodness knows life dishes out reasons daily for us to get lost in our anxiety. There are times when we get small doses and then there are times when buckets rain down upon us. However, the anxiety we feel when we are learning, improving, challenging ourselves, breaking bad habits, disagreeing in a positive way and overcoming obstacles is healthy and natural. This is a byproduct of becoming better.
It is when anxiety is fed by our personal Noise that unhealthy anxiety becomes sticky. Fear-based anxiety seems to have a mind of its own as it speeds down its path to panic. Fear of not knowing what will happen; fear of not performing well in front of others; fear of what others will think of us; fear of failure; fear of not being as good as someone else; fear of being left alone; fear of being criticized and so on.
This fear is founded on our own insecurities, our own distrust of being who we really are. For if we are being true to ourselves, none of these fears matter. We think clearly and calmly about whatever this moment brings and respond as best as we can. This is enough. There is nothing more to do. Anything else is just Noise. Trying to know and control what cannot be known and controlled out of fear is fertile ground for the worst kind of anxiety.
Anxiety devoid of fear and distrust is healthy. We respond to the instigating event in a healthy way that adds value. Our mind is not cluttered with fear and panic. We see things as they are, not as we think they should be. Accepting and embracing what is, as it is, is step one in making the most of the situation. This is how we move forward in the best way possible. If we fall short, so be it. Learn from it. Take comfort in knowing we were all-in with all that we are as of now. What more can we ask of ourselves?
When healthy anxiety rules our day, the friction we create in our interactions and our learnings will be the same. This is our natural state. It is how we have evolved to be, for this maximizes our potential. This keeps our mind clear and immersed in the moment. This is us at our best.
Understanding the nuances of anxiety helps us become better at living the life we want to live, the way we want to live it. A life filled with fear-based anxiety is not what any of us want. The good news is that through our responses we control whether anxiety is a value add or a non-value add. Understanding the difference and then learning how to address it is accomplished best by accepting ourselves and life as we are and as it is and then acting to make both better.
Choose healthy anxiety and so foster friction without Noise.
More to come.
Eric Easter is chief executive officer of Indianapolis, Indiana-based HNN Retailer Kittle’s Furniture.
